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sugar shock pie (Monday, October 9, 2006 - 2:32:27 PM)
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 My husband made a pie from a recipe created by John Scalzi. The auther called his pie Schadenfreude Pie, but I say it is sugar shock pie. It is rich and super charged sweet. It has a little chocolate in it; not enough chocolate for my taste.
I found some goood honey that i hope will make goood baklava. My recipe is posted in a past blog entry. I had ordered some orange blossom honey from Italy; it won me a red ribbon for my baclava in the fair this year. Needless to say, I will not being using the honey again. Meanwhile at Gillam Farms this weekend, I bought a jar of nice looking honey that is from Ramey Fams in Batesville. Oh the honey is good. I am going to make Baklava for the Iris Society meeting next month. I'll try a test run of Baklava on them. I am curious about using brown sugar, too. I will make a batch of my regular baklava and I may try a batch with brown sugar.
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some better (Monday, October 9, 2006 - 2:21:37 PM)
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 Some better. Taking a creative living class. Hoping the class would help me through all of my issues and motivate me to paint. ""I painted today!!!!"" The censor is not allowed to comment. The point is that i painted and that is all that matters. I have not wanted to paint becasue well i paint like a person that has had brain surgery. But i have to get past that issue and paint anyway. I hate having to relearn to draw and paint; but that is the way it will be. The desire to paint is still in me. I will ether try it and give up or try dispite what happens with the water and paint on paper. I think the disisre is genuine and not a left over from how i was before the accident.
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John Scalzi (Wednesday, October 4, 2006 - 12:14:45 PM)
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 John Scalzi, an author my husband likes has one of his books up for a bid. The book has not been released yet; but he put one up for bid for some charity cause. If a person buys it for four thousand they will receive a set of signed books and the author will write you in as a character in one of his books;.. but he says that character most likely will get killed off. I would love to be able to be written into the book as a character... and if that character was killed off that would not be so bad... i was supposed to die anyway...(I survived brain surgery a year ago) If had the money i would do it in a heart beat. Too many medical bills from three surgeries this past year. Don would love to have the books and esp. the scoop on his latest book ;and i would be a character in a sci fi book of a really good author.
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getting messy (Monday, October 2, 2006 - 5:18:57 PM)
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 My mouth opened and i spewed my feelings about living after brain surgery and being mostly blind and mostly tired of not being able to drive. Tammy gave me a hug and a glass star fish. My mourning and anger are rising up from the ashes. I am going to be messy. How do i get through this graciously? I am not so sure it is possible -- either i contain it and go a bit crazy with it or I SPew and make a mess, and then there will be the clean up. I can laugh a bit at myself and the attitude. Nasty fowl snotty green attitude.
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wrath and damage (Friday, September 29, 2006 - 7:57:21 AM)
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 The cat Precious used the bathroom on the bed yestereday after the housekeepr had cleaned the house wonderful. I was feeling better and trying to be calm til the dumb cat messed up the bed. I had to strip the bed and begin washing the beding. I have so little energy that i resent having to clean up after a cat. What little energy i have i would like for reading or crocheting...hopefully soon to paint. I am volital and the cat making a mess tipped the already full scales of more stuff to deal with; i exploded!! Don caught the Blasting. Don is like, this is her first mistake since she has been on meds for two weeks.... i am like ,she will do it again and again... he is, you do not know that....
I am angre to the hilt. I do not want a stupid sick cat to deal with. I have enough as i watch the image of who i use to be slip farther into the past. I am left striped and facing something new and very unwanted. I do not like this new person with all the brain problems. I am tired of not being able to drive; and as kind as people are they only have so much charity or friendship to give. I am tired of calling down the list to find help to make errands; i want to get in the car and do it myself. People are being to say to me "why don't you get your husband take you "or "why don't you start driving." I am blind people and chances are i will never drive again!!
I received a gift of a new version of the Speak EAsy and have been using it to relearn sounds and word pronousciation. I am emberraced by my loses.
I have signed up for a creative living class "the Artist's Way"; i think this will be a good catharsis.
I have hopes of painting again but i dread the restart, the shame of the abvious non beauty, the once pleasent strokes replaced by a long scar across the brain.
I hear my screams to God echoing back through this moring and i feel tears close.
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